The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
