Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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