So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
