You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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