thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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