My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize