am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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