you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
