doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
