I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
