k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
