I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
