I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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