Sponge bath it is.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize