So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
