I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
