I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The police scanner is talking about you again....
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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