The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
