dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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