Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
