i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
