Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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