Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we're chasing vodka with high fives
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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