I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
