threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
