I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
