Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
