and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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