Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
