we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
