Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
