if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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