i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
