Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
