I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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