The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
