Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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