do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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