If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
