you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
