I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
