All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
