how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
