I'm jealous of your bromance
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
