Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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