I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
