Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i barfeds in our rink
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
