are you still at the devil's house?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
