this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
