Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
