Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize