I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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