you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
