Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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