i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
