I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize