booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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