If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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