I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is it fun? or sober?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
