thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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You. Win. At. Life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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