Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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