dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize