He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize