Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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