if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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