Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
