the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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