it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
