C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
