when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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