i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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